Office job? Not quite mate! Couldn't be much further from what I do.
Currently in Italy and as it's a Bank Holiday the Italians don't do a lot today.
Just come back from a stroll.
FWIW I think you are a troll and have done quite well winding people up.
Don't think your real. Ex military injured hero and all that, Britain for the British ranting. Just too stereotyped.
Good luck I'm out.